Comforting Touch
by TheMello13
Summary: Kida couldn't save Saki, and turned to the only other person close enough to give him comfort; Izaya. Kizaya oneshot. Rated T for some language.


I use to think nothing could actually hurt me, no matter how many fights I got into, I'd always turn out alright, save for some bruises or cuts. Nonetheless, I always felt okay.

I felt… powerful. I never lost, the Yellow Scarves never lost. We had it good.

But the Blue Squares stopped playing fair.

What was fair when it came to gang wars?

Nothing, I guess.

It was still not okay. They started picking fights they knew they would win, and only those fights.

They always outnumbered the people they fought, if we had one, they had four. If we had two, they had eight.

In short, all of my friends were being injured, including me.

By this time, I was friends with Saki. Her advice? Go to Izaya, he knows everything.

I never had a good feeling with that guy, but you know what, I tried it. Saki couldn't wrong about him completely, right?

Right.

And as it turns out, he was very informative. I still didn't trust him, but I was able to go to him for information whenever needed, and somehow, he always had just the right things to say, just what I needed.

Eventually, with Saki's guide and affection, I came very close to truly trusting Izaya.

Until one day, he didn't pick up.

The day I needed him most.

The day Saki was kidnapped, and I was unable to protect her. The day Kadota decided to go against his former leader and save the girl.

Even as he drove past me, I was glued to the very ground I stood.

It felt like hours passed as I stood besides the building, staring at nothing, the fear overcoming me. If I truly loved Saki, why couldn't I save her? Why was I so… so… chicken? So useless? Worthless?

Eventually, I worked up the courage to start walking. It was late, very late, and I knew my parents would be asleep. Not that they actually care what I do, I think they stopped sometime last year. I was scared, and I needed someone to go to. Why couldn't I still be close to Mikado, have him here with me? He's so innocent, naïve, like nothing evil could ever touch him…

The gut wrenching feeling in my stomach is what confirmed my next action, I would go to Izaya's place. I wasn't sure if he'd even be there, since he never answered my calls earlier today.

Who am I trying to kid? Myself, apparently. Izaya would be there. I know it. He's always there. There was hardly a chance he would be somewhere else.

I sent my parents a text, knowing they'd check in the morning if I wasn't in my room. That's how things went. Anything was okay as long as I checked in.

Slowly, carefully, I made my way to his office. The one in here, in Ikebukuro.

It shouldn't have taken a half hour, but it did, most likely because of the state I was in.

Once there, I didn't get a chance to knock before the door swung open, a smug smirk coming from the seemingly omniscient informant in front of me.

"Ah, Kida, I've been waiting for you to arrive. Come on in, relax, the room is fine."

I was split between walking away from him, away from this building, and walking right in, following him into false security.

He made up my mind for me, putting an arm around my shoulders, guiding me in.

"Take a seat wherever you like, I just made tea. I'm sure you'd love some~!"

I knew it wasn't a suggestion. Izaya wouldn't let me leave now that I'm here, especially after… after… did he know what happened to Saki? Was this one thing the omniscient informant didn't know…? No, of course he had to. There's no way he couldn't.

Reluctantly, I took a seat on the plush couch, trying to get myself comfortable. Maybe if I wasn't so worked up, so internally conflicted with my emotions, it would've been easier.

A few moments later, Izaya placed a cup of tea on the table in front of me, taking a sip of his own before setting it down on a pretty looking tea plate, or whatever those are called.

Another reluctant action- I took a sip of the tea… and it was nice. I felt my body ease up, though my mind stayed serious. At least the physical relief felt good.

"So, Kida, what brings you here?"

We both know why I'm here, or at least, we both know separate reasons.

"I don't want to be alone tonight," I couldn't bring myself to say anything else.

What else was there to say, though? You're the only one I can go to because I'm feeling rather unstable right now, and that I could just completely break down at any given moment?

Fat chance.

"Ah, have you missed me? I was awfully busy today~. I can always make up for it!"

His voice was so sickening to my ears. I felt like Izaya was trying to dig further under my skin, which he very well may be. His happy tone making light of a serious mood. With that thought, I took another sip of the tea before setting it on one of the little plates, as well.

"Listen, Iza-"

"You want to be comforted, and since all your friends are little Yellow Scarves, and your parents couldn't possibly know about your dangerous activities, you came to me instead. Saki is in the hospital because you weren't there to save her in time before they broke her legs, and now you're feeling guilty. You need me to feel better."

Damn him.

Damn him to hell.

There were definitely other people I could've gone to, but I've already decided that I don't want to go back to the Scarves, or any gang at all.

I couldn't say anything, for I really didn't know how to respond. I felt a terrible pang at my heart, like I'd been stabbed right in the emotions, straight through my heart. Was that possible? Maybe with Izaya. Definitely with Izaya. When I finally thought of something worthy to say-

"I accept your offer, Kida. I'm sure I can think of a way to help~."

That bastard. That's what he is, a damn bastard. I watched him take another sip of his tea as I sighed.

I wasn't sure what to say. He saw right through me, and I would never outright admit I wanted to be comforted by him of all people. I was so concentrated in my thoughts, I didn't snap out of it until I felt his oddly warm arms pulling me onto his lap, a hand caressing my hair.

"Izaya, what are you doing?"

"Isn't it obvious? Comforting ministrations like this can actually help ease the mind."

I didn't believe that, but how can I object to him, when I know he's most likely stronger than I am? I resigned, leaning back against his chest, letting him massage my head. Though it was comforting, it didn't ease my mind, once again, only my body relaxed.

I know this feeling of guilt won't just go away like that, especially so soon after the incident, but I could wish, couldn't I?

I could wish that this never happened, or that I could lose memory of this, or maybe just be able to have a completely clean conscious for once.

I mumbled a few words on how this felt nice, and I didn't have to turn to know the smirk that spread across his lips.

"Of course it does, I know many tricks to calm others. They work! Except on Shizu-chan." I assumed that Izaya couldn't get close enough to Shizuo to even try, but I wouldn't ask. "Turn around."

Okay, that sounds odd, but I complied. It was best not to question him so much at times like this. I turned towards him, and he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close like I'm some little kid.

Which got me thinking.

I'm still just a kid. I should have a normal life, one that doesn't have to do with gangs or putting other people's lives at risk. One that doesn't have me permanently scarred before I'm even past my teens.

Izaya rubbed my back, continuing to stroke my hair as well. It almost didn't matter if my mind was racing, Izaya was making my body feel physically at peace, which was sufficient enough for the moment. I didn't feel quite so lonely.

I leaned my head against his shoulder, closing my eyes and slowing my breath. His warmth made me feel safe, even if I can't trust him as far as I can throw him.

I could feel myself drifting to sleep. Did I mind? Not at the moment. I probably would've been home alone, up all night, if it wasn't for Izaya right now.

The last thing I remember before falling into the trap of sleep was Izaya's chuckles, along with a small assurance that I'd be safe here for the night. Safe from every evil of Ikebukuro, except for Izaya himself.


End file.
